I like to joke that my goal in life is to regress back into a twelve-year-old.

After looking at the accumulation of work that I’ve been doing recently, I’m beginning to suspect that there’s some truth in the fiction. I have a novelette that I’m using as a reader magnet, called MOMMY BOOBS. Twelve? You bet…but with all the wisdom and accumulated experience of a tired parent.

Then, there’s a series I’m cowriting (no books released yet), called STARSHIP ASS. It’s about a donkey…and space pirates. My inner child goes a step further, and enjoys the possibility of an ass-pirates pun!

And, last year I wrote a self-help book to help people achieve a lifestyle of empowered action that honors who they really are. THE CHANGE HABIT is a reflection of strategies I’ve successfully employed to start saying YES to my inner child.

There’s a theme here. “Inner child” keeps coming up.

But, what exactly *is* the inner child?

According to Dictionary.com:

inner child – a person’s supposed original or true self, especially when regarded as damaged or concealed by negative childhood experiences.

I can see some truth here. But, I might reframe it. I think our “true self” is constantly evolving as a reflection of our life experiences and values. Values change as a response to our lessons, as well as those things we decide are “truly important” to living life in our preferred ways.

The deeper lesson?

That culturally, many or most (all?) of us learn a pattern of concealing, suppressing, or invalidating our wants and needs. We learn to protect ourselves from the judgments of others, and in doing so, take on those judgments as valid criticisms of who we are and what we desires. We learn to edit and censor how we show up in the world around us.

Many New Age therapies and approaches to living are designed with a goal of reconnecting us with our “true selves” or “higher selves” or “inner child.” It’s a tragedy that our education and social systems aren’t more focused on preserving those aspects of our children. Instead, we leave it to them to figure it all out as an adult. Sink or swim.

Personally, I’m swimming.

It’s a battle, but I’m determined to honor my inner child. It turns out that part of that process is entertaining my inner child with the stories I tell!

So, I’ll keep bringing on the boobies and the donkeys and the terrible puns…but, I’ll also be sure to write with the intention of honoring the higher selves of the characters and my readers.

I have a question for you, if you’re willing to entertain it.

Have you surrendered key parts of who you are in order to achieve unfulfilling or meaningless goals? What would it mean for you to reclaim those parts of yourself?

I invite you to take a stab at answering this for yourself, in whatever way feels most comfortable. It could be journaling, meditation, or conversation with a friend. If you’re feeling bold, share your answers in a comment below or send me your response directly. I’d love to hear from you!